I understand you.

never to touch and never to keep

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exists, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten. -Neil Gaiman

''ouais mais on est pas comme les autres''

Aren't you scared to wonder what it could have been to give me that one little chance, aren't you scared it hunt you your whole life ?.
Try to find someone that will give you that much. 
Tu te rappelle quand je disais que je sentais au fond de moi que c'etait pas fini ? Que ca allait jamais finir ? Well it died. I'm sorry about that but I have to tell you that I'm not waiting for you anymore, I won't waste one more minute of my life to try to attain you, I already gave to much. 
And yes it feel weird. Accepter, enfin, de laisser partir ce que j'ai toujours voulu et finalement comprendre que non, I will never have it. J'ai arrêter de me dire que y'avais des chances qu'un jour tu réalise tout ca. J'ai arrêter. 
And even if I will love you for the rest of my life (and i couldn't be more certain about it) la prochaine fois que tu voudra te fendre dans ma vie you'll have a no for answer. 

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps praying the floor won't fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind but I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday
Well, maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can
You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry, never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes cause you've burn them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town

un tabarnak de point final.
esti que la seule façon de faire en sorte qui aille rien qui soit compliqué c'est quand on se parle pu. j'suis tannée de finir toujours déçu. J'suis tannée que t'agisse en esti de cave, you don't want me ? Fine, then let me go somewhere else, pi fais pas ton esti d’égoïste, fais pas tes petites mini crises qui ont une limite super mince avec la jalousie. I'm fucking trying to be friend. C'est ça que tu voulais fak agis donc en ami esti.

Honey you're my golden star

I know you can make my wish come true

If you let me treasure you

fuck you

You know how awkward I am.. Well I swear, when I'm talking to you, I feel like I'm at level 683 of awkwarness.

& à chaque 11:11 j'fais le vœu que tu vienne me parler en premier.

(le o et le e sont collés dans le titre lol.)

just so you know. i changed my number and you're gonna have to find a better way to have it.

And I do, want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference...

On s’en crisse, elle va toujours être la fille qu’il a choisie à ma place. Elle pourrait ressembler à Chewbacca pis j’la trouverais quand même plus smatte, plus belle et moins poilue que moi. 

Ça marche jamais, je l’sais plus quoi être. Confiante mais pas castrante. Agace, mais pas trop. Fine, mais pas trop. Bitch, mais pas trop. Cochonne, mais pas trop. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez?

Hands touch, eyes meet,
sudden silence, sudden heat
hearts leap in a giddy whirl.
He could be that boy,
but I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are,
don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
I'm not that girl
Every so often we long to steal,
to the land of what might have been,
but that doesn't soften the ache we feel
when reality sets back in
Blythe smile, lithe limb
she who's winsome,
she wins him,
gold hair with a gentle curl,
that's the girl he chose
and heaven knows,
I'm not that girl
don't wish, don't start
wishing only wounds the heart,
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl,
there's a girl I know,
he loves her so,
I'm not that girl.

There it is, that fucking pain in my stomach.

If this was the right thing to do then tell me why does it hurt so bad,
Why does it felt so wrong.

And I do am proud of you. j'ai l'impression d'être dans un film, In fact, I wish it could be one, parce que je saurais que ça finirais bien. Every single pieces of my body hurts. And fuck, I can still feel your hands on me like you where still here... J'ai vomis ma vie, mes yeux sont déjà enflés, la seule chose que j'aimerais avoir présentement c'est une boîte de kleenex mais fuck my life j'en ai pas. Combien de larmes y faut verser avant d'être déshydraté ? Combien de nuits ca va me prendre cette fois ci pour t'oublier ? Combien de gars j'vais laisser entré dans ma vie en espérant que ce soit finalement lui qui te surpasse. Je sais que toute les filles disent ca, je sais que j'suis juste une parmis tant d'autre but fuck, I know it's you, I can feel it in every fucking bones I have. So please, please, come back. 

lol, it's was just a joke.

La notion de karma désigne communément le cycle des causes et des conséquences liées à l'existence des êtres sensibles. Il est la somme de ce qu'un individu a fait, est en train de faire ou fera.

J'ai rêvé de l'amour, De plongé mon âme dans celle d'une autre et de réveiller un cœur anesthésié par la peur de souffrir.

Maybe I'm talking a little bit to fast but.. He sounds different and he makes me feel like I'm pretty, il me fait sentir bien, j'ai tout oublié le reste. 

«Avec le temps tu apprends la différence subtile qui existe entre tenir la main et enchainer une âme, que amour n'est pas synonyme de dépendance et que la compagnie des autres n'est pas synonyme de sécurité, qu'un baiser n'est pas un contrat et qu'un cadeau n'est pas une promesse, tu apprends à accepter la défaite dignement, avec la grâce d'un adulte plutôt qu'avec l'air chagriné d'un enfant, à bâtir aujourd'hui parce que demain est trop incertain. Par conséquent, cultive ton propre jardin et enjolive ton âme au lieu d'attendre qu'on t'apporte des fleurs. Tu verras alors que tu es plus solide que tu penses.. »

I'm happy.

I see all that you are, when you don't really see it yourself.

I'm scared because I can't change how I feel about you. I keep reminding myself that you'll never see me the way I see you. I keep telling myself that I'll just end up hurts, and that after you leave, I'll be even more alone and confused and messed up than before. I keep thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn't let myself feel anything for you at all. But no matter how hard I try, none of it seems to matter. The moment I see your face or hear your voice, I'm yours all over again. And sometimes I wonder how someone's heart grows so cold, and I think that maybe it's because for while, it was left out in the rain. You know some days I struggle, when there's nothing left to say, because I still don't know how to convince you, that out of everyone, and all the ones that leave, I'm always the one still standing there, with an umbrella, just big enough, to cover your heart.

And I got a job. And I'm doing it well. :)
but for tonight, my heart is in pieces.

Dr. Seuss

-Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Your than You.  
-Why fit in when you were born to stand out?  
-You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. 
-Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.  
-Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.

BOLD WHAT APPLIES... ›

it’s night right now

There’s something else you should be doing at the moment.

You ate chicken today

There’s a nearby TV on.

You get along with your neighbors.

Twilight is a horrible series.

You’re hungry right now.

You have worked out today.

Running a mile sounds awful.

You have a job.

You love to bake Christmas cookies.

Your parents are still together.

You woke up before 11 this morning.

Baths are better than showers.

You are 5’5” or shorter.

You hate British accents.

Victoria’s Secret is a good store.

Cats are better than dogs.

The 90’s sucked.

Your cell phone is right next to you.

Your favorite color is either blue or purple.

Your hair is short.

You are by yourself right now.

The last thing you drank was water.

You’re in your PJ’s right now.

Your hair color is natural.

Fred from Youtube is annoying

You don’t drink soda.

There’s at least $20 in your wallet.

It’s cold out.

Orange juice is better than Apple juice.

You love someone right now.

Video games are awesome.

Your sheets are white.

You have read works by Shakespeare before.

You know someone in the hospital right now.

You know someone who has beaten cancer.

Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear.

Chocolate is better than vanilla.

You’re allergic to peanuts.

You’ve never been to New York City.

You’ve never been on a varsity sports team.

You want to go to Europe.

You’re using a laptop right now.

You have cheated on someone before.

Your friends do drugs.

School is too early.

Your nails/toe nails have nail polish on them right now.

You’re Italian.

You have a tan right now.

You bite your nails.

You’ve been on a diet before.

Hot Topic is scary.

There are socks on your feet right now.

You’ve used a hair straightener.

Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store.

Cheesecake is delicious.

You have gotten your hair cut in the past month.

Your birthday is within the next 2 months.

You’ve been rejected.

Comedies are better than action films.

Math is the best subject.

You are fluent in more than one language.

You love Greek food

You consider yourself a picky eater.

You have more than 3 pillows on your bed.

You live with at least one parent.

You’re happy right now.

You are a highschool graduate

You have a pet cat. 

You were born before April 5th 1991

You have brown hair.

You have blue eyes.

You are in a relationship

You can count to 20 in another language.

You have studied a foreign language.

You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004.

You have worked 3rd shift.

You have worked in a fast food restaurant.

You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today.

You live in New Jersey.

You live in Montana.

You live in Pennsylvania.

Your last name begins with an ‘M’.

Your middle name begins with a ‘C’.

Your first name begins with an ‘S’.

You are older than 19

You are younger than 16.

You are an only child.

Your parents are divorced.

Your parents are not married, but together.

You have more than one sibling.

You are a vegetarian.

You have a gym membership.

You are in the military.

You have a relative in the military.

You have been to Canada.

You have been to Mexico

You have been to Europe.

You are currently enrolled in college/university 

You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.

You have braces.

You wear contact lenses.

You have a tattoo on your ankle

You have a tattoo on your wrist.

You have a tattoo on your lower back.

You have a tattoo on your upper arm.

You have a lip piercing.

You have a tongue piercing.

You have your nipples pierced.

You have your cartilage pierced.

You have curly hair.

You have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months.

You are engaged.

You are married.

You have children.

You are an aunt or uncle.

Your bedroom walls are blue.

Your bedspread is red.

Your bedroom carpet is beige

You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week.

You have been drunk in the past 24 hours.

You have lost your virginity before you turned 16.

You are bisexual.

You watch Scrubs.

You watch American Idol.

You have been to the movies within the last month.

You had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little.

You actually pay attention to politics

You have kissed someone within the last week.

You have kissed three or more people in the past year.

You were told you looked cute today.

You were hugged today.

Your best friend is the opposite sex.

You had a date to prom

You are always on time.

You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours.

You have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days.

You have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks.

You have been out of the country within the last year.

You love Chinese food.

You love Italian food.

You love Mexican food.

You love country music.

You like rap.

You love hip hop.

You love pop.

You love punk rock.

You love hard rock

You love metal.

You love classic rock

You love bluegrass

You love oldies

You love techno.

You love instrumental music.

You know someone younger than 10 who passed away.

You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored.

You have been in a car wreck.

You have had stitches.

You have a parent who is a teacher.

You have a savings account.

You have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you.

You have dated someone who was 2 years older than you.

You have broken up with someone for someone else.

You have been cheated on.

You are Catholic.

You are Mormon.

You are Buddhist.

You are Agnostic.

You wish at 11:11.

You have had your current job for more than 3 months.

You have had your heart broken.

You broke someone else’s heart.

You felt bad about it.

You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to.

You have been to a cemetery at midnight.

You have been a vampire for Halloween

You have been a witch for Halloween.

You have been a pumpkin for Halloween

You have stayed up for 48 hours straight.

You have been to walmart in the past 3 days.

You own a pair of scrubs.

You own a cowboy hat.

You own a leather coat.

You are missing someone right now.

You have been let down recently.

You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you.

You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship.

You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show.

You have met someone famous.

Motivation ?

Chaque fois qui a un problème, je me sauve en courant. J'ai toujours été comme ca. J'affronte rien dans ma vie, j'fais seulement endurer et j'marrange et je pleure et j'ai mal. Mais la, j'peux pas. J'peux pas me sauver, j'peux pas me dire que j'ai juste à changer de cap. J'ai fais un DEC pour rien. J'dois m'afficher. YO, j'ai étudier pendant 3 ans, j'ai donnée tout ce que j'avais, même mon coeur tabarnak, et j'ai rien en retour. Et j'essaie. J'essaie. Mais la réponse c'est toujours non.
Et quand j'ai un problème je me sauve.. Je l'évite. Mais celui la il est inévitable. Celui la, c'est sur ma vie au grand complet qu'il joue.
J'ai envie de me sauver de ma vie.

30 things about me

Je fais comme Patricia parce que ca me tente bon.

1- J'ai 22 ans
2- Je termine mon DEC en technique de médecine nucléaire demain
3- J'ai un examen de l'ordre dans exactement 2 semaines
4- J'ai toujours pas trouver d'emploie
5- J'aime le rose
6- J'aime bien le maquillage aussi
7- J'aime les chats
8- J'ai environ 10000 de pots de crème parce que j'ai la peau ridiculement sèche
9- J'ai toujours froid
10- J'aime bien ca marcher
11- I need to clean up this mess in my head
12- J'aimerais retourner dans le temps, de 3 ans
13- Je porte des lunettes
14- J'ai un iphone 5
15- Je suis déjà aller dans un sex shop
16- J'aime voyager, malheureusement, je n'ai pas été assez loin à mon goût
17- J'essaie toujours de m'enfuir de mes problèmes.
18- J'aime ca regarder les garcons
19- Je trippe sur les gens qui ont de belles veines
20- Je suis addic au souliers
21- J'pourrais gaspiller 1000$ au carrefour laval en une soirée !
22- J'ai 5 tattoo, 3 piercing
23- Je deménage jeudi
24- J'aime les Jonas Brothers
25- J'aime ca regarder des dessins animés !
26- J'aime le vin rouge
27- Je suis la pire gaffeuse de la terre
28- J'ai jamais ce que je veux
29- Mon meilleur ami c'est un gars
30- I wish I was nothing like me

You already won. You got the boy. C'était déjà fait tabarnak. T'avais rien à prouver à personne. I am, for sure, never gonna be like you.

Oh, I still dream of a simple life

Boy meets girl, makes her his wife

But love don't exist when you live like this

That much I know, yes, I know

All these roads steer me wrong

But I still drive them all night long, all night long

......................................-Bruno mars

• Robin: Chemistry. If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing.
• Ted: What's that?
• Robin: Timing. But timing is a bitch.

I'm sorry that because of me you call yourself a jerk. Habituellement les gars qui le sont arrive pas à le savoir and I guess that it does really sucks to think that of yourself. J'suis désolée de pas passer par dessus toi, j'veux juste pas oublier à quel point j'étais bien et à quel point j'étais heureuse quand j'étais dans tes bras. Never forget that. Et j'suis désolée d'être moi, j'suis désolée de ne pas avoir été assez, j'suis désolée d'être compliquée, de pleurer, j'suis désolée d'en faire tout un drame, j'suis désolée de tout ruiner tout l'temps, de foutre de la marde partout. J'aurais jamais pensée que ca aurait pu causer autant de problèmes. J'suis désolée d'avoir le sentiment que t'es pas à ta place, j'suis désolée d'avoir autant à te donner mais surtout de pas te donner ce que tu voudrais que je te donne...

I always have, I always will.

Aren't you something to admire

Cause your shine is something like a mirror

And I can't help but notice you reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always parallel on the other side

Show me how to fight for now 
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy 
Coming back into you once I figured it out

J'espère que tu comprends à quel point ca me brise le coeur. J'espère que tu comprends que je veux pas faire de drame ou whatever, j'ai jamais rien demander, j'ai jamais rien voulu de tout ca. Et j'comprendrais jamais, jamais pourquoi toi. C'que jte demande right now, c'que j'veux pour de vrai c'est que tu fasse juste vivre ta vie pi sois heureux pi j'aurais toujours des nouvelles de toi et j'saurais toujours ou t'es rendu et qu'es-ce que tu deviens, qu'es-ce que tu fais.. Mais j'peux pas me permettre de te laisser de mon temps. 

I loved you yesterday, I love you still. I always have I always will. And love is'nt about how much you say I love you but how much you prove that it's true. I prove you. Jte l'ai toujours dis, j'te lai toujours prouvée. When it comes to you I'm never good enough. Then go ahead, passe à côté de moi, j'suis désoler de pas vouloir faire partie de ta vie en tant qu'amie. J'y arrive pas. J'suis désoler qu'on puisse pas être la l'un pour l'autre. J'y arrive pas. C'est tout. I can't pass my life wondering what will happens next or if something will happen and I can't just supose that it won't happen, I have to make a choice. I can't have you in my life if it's breaking my heart. J'ai pu la force, j'ai pu le courage non plus. And god know how I tried ! 

There's always better.

And then she got everything I ever wanted, and everything I had. 

Go ahead, steel my life. It was crap anyway. 

And I swear to god, someday, you are going to marry me.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close..

Mon stage c'est dla merde, j'ai des entrevues mais à date j'suis pas engagé, il déménage dans moins d'une semaine, j'ai des trucs à payer, du poids à perdre, du ménage à faire...
Quand t'a l'impression que tout descend au lieu d'avancer. Y'a rien qui marche.
Can I just go sleep and wait until it's all over.

What the hell
what the fuck tabarnak.

It’s all in the details. They way someone stops smiling the moment you aren’t looking. How their answers become shorter, their laughter a little bit more forced for every time. You’ll sometimes catch them with a distant look in their eyes, as if they’re staring into the big nothingness that surrounds them. Completely gone. Lost. Alone. You might find that they start distancing themselves from you, making excuses, feeding you with their little covering lies.  Keep your eyes open for the empty look that follows. Pay attention. Never look away. Because they are nearly impossible to spot, unless you’re one of them.

That fucking hole

''Ta bonne volonté c'est comme si c'était c'qui fait que tu y arrive jamais''
J'suis avec quelqu'un de mon age, j'suis trop vieille, j'veux trop, j'veux pas c'qui veulent blablabla.Quand j'vais voir plus vieux, j'suis trop jeune, j'veux pas assez, j'suis pas au même endroit qu'eux dans leur vie blablabla.Pi si j'suis moi même ? Y'a quand même quelque chose qui cloche. What j'suis si laide que ca esti ? Why, pourquoi ? J'suis si conne que ca ? Y msemble que j'me suis jamais trouvé ordinaire pi j'arrête pas de me faire dire que j'suis différente et que c'est positif mais finalement y manque le petit quelque chose.
And they are sorry.
And I am trying so hard, that's right. I want it so bad..
And I do know what I want, I really do. But it seems like no-one wants the same.
And it is killing me.
Pi arrêtez de me dire que ca va me tomber dessus. Non it won't.
J'ai presque perdu l'espoir qu'un jour y va en avoir un de différent. Y'a pas juste une personne faite pour toi sur la terre ca j'y crois pas.
Mais j'crois que c'est possible qui en aille aucune.

Carrée aux dates mars 2013

04 mars - Entrevue pour travailler comme technologue en mn au CHU de Québec
02 mars - Nuit blanche à Montréal
08 mars - Remettre mon travail d'élaboration d'une technique d'examen
13 mars - Féliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiix
18 mars - Stage de spécialité pédiatrie à St-Justine pour 2 semaines
26 mars - 22 ans :O
29 mars - Fin de semaine de 5 jours thanks god I can not wait

To all the man I know in my life.

«Quand une fille veut passer une journée avec toi et qu’elle espère être surprise, c’est parce qu’elle t’aime. C’est parce qu’elle espère justement, que ce n’est pas emmerdant, chiant ou une corvée de lui faire plaisir. Parce que ça ne devrait pas l’être. Elle n’est pas ton ennemie. Les hommes et les femmes sont faits pour s’entendre, peu importe ce que disent tes amis. C’est un mythe de penser qu’on est juste là, à se faire chier mutuellement pour le fun. 
Ne choisis pas une « bonne fille » pour faire plaisir. Choisis une fille dont tu as éperdument envie et qui aime te faire l’amour. C’est si important, que tu la trouves belle et que tu la désires, mais aussi que vous soyez sur la même longueur d’onde dans un lit. Tu auras peut-être moins le goût d’aller voir ailleurs et tu te sentiras comme un homme bien.
Trouve-toi une amie. Une fille avec qui «t’as le goût d’aller jouer dehors après souper». Parce que l’amour, c’est ça. On a tous un meilleur ami, avec qui on a toujours le goût d’aller au parc. On a beau avoir d’autres amis plus cools et plus fins, mais à la fin de la journée, on a toujours une personne préférée avec qui on a le goût d’aller se balancer.
Trouve-toi une complice, qui va embarquer dans tes trips de gars. Une fille avec qui tu vas avoir envie de faire le tour du monde. Avec qui tu peux niaiser. Choisis une fille avec qui tu as envie de bâtir des projets. Pas nécessairement le combo «maison-chien-bébés-cabanon». Trouve celle qui va te donner le goût de rêver à plus grand.»

J't'écris une chanson d'amour parce que j'suis conne.

''Respect yourself enough to know you deserve the very best.''

J'ai compris. J'suis pas parfaite, j'suis pas la meilleure, j'suis pas la plus belle et encore moins la plus gentille. J'suis pas la personne qui va marquer le monde... J'suis moi, j'suis peu-être pas la meilleure mais je sais en faire des choses, j'suis peu être pas la plus belle mais desfois, y'a des gars qui se retourne quand j'passe et j'le sais qu'ils me trouvent belle ! J'suis pas la plus gentille, desfois j'fais chier, desfois j'espère que les gens ont mal. J'vais pas marquer le monde, mais j'suis pasmal sur que j'vais en marquer plus que un ! J'ai confiance en moi maintenant ! J'ai compris comment ! Avant je me disait que peu importe quel sorte d'attention je recevais c'était mieux que de ne pas en recevoir du tout, maintenant j'ai compris que si c'est pas c'que j'veux, ca en vaut pas la peine. J'ai arrêter aussi d'essayer de tout contrôler, si sa marche pas, sa marche pas. Tant pis pour toi, j'men fou. The less you care the happier you will be. 

“I think when it’s all over, it just comes back in flashes, you know? Like a kaleidoscope of memories. It just all comes back… but he never does. I think part of me knew from the second I saw him that this would happen. It’s not really anything he said or anything he did. It was… the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is, I don’t know if I’m ever going to feel that way again… and I don’t know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought… how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me… I guess I just lost my balance… I think that the worst part of it all wasn’t losing him… It was losing me.

I don’t know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.”